I have a turtle. Her name is Jo, but she doesn't know that.

So I got a cute little turtle from a $1.09 store from some foreigners for $20 that was "A special price for you only, today!". It included food and one of those tiny plastic terrariums with a little happy plastic palm tree that some turtle breeders refer to as "the plastic death box"  for it is much too small and most baby turtles bought on a whim die in those.

She looks like so:

I named her Jo Ann, but no one calls her that including me because turtle is much easier and "hey turtle!" sounds more fun than "hey jo!" ....I think... this is just a random theory of mine as to why we don't call her by her name. Anyways here is my roommate dropping her on the floor like the dick he is:

She is okay from that fall, luckily her shell protected her, because it's been 2 months from now and she seems okay. Here's a video of her eating some lettuce with my terrible narration:




As you can see, her tank got much more pimped. It's quite nice...though when I was rinsing all of the aquarium rocks to get the dust off of them, I got some in the garbage disposal because I'm dumb and didn't think to put the cover on it. Then a few days later I turned on the disposal and it worked...and then just stopped, which reminded me about the rocks that fell down the drain.... any tips on how to get aquarium rocks unstuck from a garbage disposal?

Zombeh melicus

So, the local big city I live by is having a first annual zombie walk for charity, and they asked for volunteers to show up zombified to be in a commercial for it. So, I tried my hand at zombie paint. I used my air brushes for the first time. I used acrylic paints and got the base of white and grey. Then I used my brushes for the ripped flesh. I then wiped my lips off so I could eat and drink and slept this way.

Also I have a map of Wisconsin showing all the places to stop for cheese...one day I shall travel out of state!

The next day I repainted the teeth and added blood. Our bathroom still looks terrible from me trying to get a nice splatter effect, because I am very slow and unmotivated when it comes to cleaning. The good thing about bathrooms is that they are not covered in carpet like the rest of your apartment...let's think about how thoughtful I was about ease of cleaning and ignore the fact that there is a mirror in the bathroom that I needed to use. Also I cut a gushers wrapper and covered it in sharpie and glued it to my eyelid instead of just painting my eyelid black. The night before, I had found out that I have issues keeping one eye closed.

So yeah, this is what I can do without having any latex thingies to glue to my face with spirit gum..I simply paint it on and pretend.

There's cereal in my parcel!

The title is supposed to be a play on "there's a snake in my boot!" though it doesn't seem to be a very good one.

So, I ordered so spirit gum from amazon.com because Halloween and renfest are coming up and I may want to glue things to my body.  And it was sent to me in this box.

But also included in this box, was a mini box of cereal called "Quaker Whole Hearts" and looks like heart shaped cheerios. I'm not sure how you would react but I was all like

View my artistically well done 3/4 view of this greatly illustrated box and be distracted away from my claw-like hand. 

Why is this in there? Did someone drop it in on accident? Is there some sort of weight issue that needed to be solved so that it could be mailed? Does anyone know why this would possible happen?

It's not a tragedy or really a magical happiness of luck...but it is perplexing....